Welcome;
to my house ;)
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Tuesday, August 9, 2011
- @ 8:21 PM
it just aches me.
you followed what ppl said and you give no credit.
sentences formed by other ppl's mouth,
& yet you're acting like you are the one who created it.
it's not happening on me,
but as a 3rd person's point of view,
i'm very pissed.
you know it all.
i don't get what you want to say.
repeatedly, you just do not want to end that topic.
fine.
nothing belongs to me,
i know.
but the hearts of some ppl are with me,
although i do not own them.
고마워
♥
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Monday, June 13, 2011
so. fast. @ 9:53 PM
two weeks of school holidays ended,
just like this.
T.T
besides gaining weight,
i haven't done anything healthy.
i need a life so badly now :(
jeszlynn.
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Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Yesterday. @ 8:48 AM
Yesterday was like hell.
First they asked me to find an invoice that never exists,
because they have never printed it out.
Second, I get blamed for sending the wron invoice.
I actually doubted that I send those invoices, and someone just yell at me.
from this first day of work,
this job has already been testing my patience.
sorry I have a super low level of that,
so you can't blame me for getting angry and mad.
when I do the right things, none of you showed thanks.
probably they feel like it's your job..
we paid you for it or whatsoever fine.
when you all can't find anything,
I'll get the blame because I am the one who does the filing.
everything is my fault.
This job sucks to the max I tell you.
like a living hell.
Heard so much of how all of you say that you all get blamed everytime,
i think I fit in the situation when I get blamed every single moment.
it's tiring.
I've been working ever since my holidays are here.
I just take a week of with my grandparents.
I did not enjoy my life.
All I've been waiting for is 12.30 pm and 6pm.
When 6 pm comes,
I feel so so happy cause today is done.
I look forward to going home everyday now.
When it comes to 11pm,
I'll start going depressed again.
because there's work tomorrow.
My table was never cleaned.
It's piled up with so many papers.
anyone would go crazy sitting at that table.
I just can't describe how happy I am because form 6 is starting already.
The leap of joy ;)
jeszlynn.
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Tuesday, March 29, 2011
momentum. @ 9:39 PM
i have yet to blog about the few events i wanted to blog about.
i'm so sorry about that.
i'll possibly drag the posts till some other time,
as the pictures aren't ready yet.
well,
this is just a recap of how my week had gone like,
in a super fast way.
time flies so dreadfully.
and still,
i'm feeling that last week's events happened like a few months ago.
my, i'm going mad :)
March 20th.
had my first bday celebration with Alor Akarians in Just Relax.
March 21st.
my 18th b'day. had 2nd celebration with the Afzaners at the beach.
March 22nd.
nothing much. just that i cut the cake mum had bought for me & being nervous for the whole day.
March 23rd.
results day. cried, smiled, spent most of my time with the Afzaners, quarreled with mum, went out with some Alor-Akarians at night.
March 24th.
on leave. yay. want to school, fetched sisters to/back from tuitions. problem solved between mum & me. went yc with Alor-Akarians at Tea Time, then yc with Wen at Old Town.
initially wanted to go to Jess Cafe. didn't know it was closed at night. lol. did my board for Fahrenheit till 3am. yeah.
March 25th.
went to KL with Wen for Fahrenheit's event. super long story will link the post here when i'm really done with it. the moment was freaking amazing. everything was worth it. totally worth it.
March 26th.
my eating marathon starts form 9 till 11 plus. yes i think Wen is sacred. hahah we fed her so much. well then i slept the whole day, & watch the 1st epi of Criminal Minds S6.
March 27th.
Cheng Meng day, family-bonding day ;)
March 28th.
back to work again. went yc with Afzaners at Just Relax at night.
March 29th.
worked half day. &, my maid is gone.
yes she is gone.
this is just too sudden.
it's shocking.
i feel bad and sad.
i don't know what to feel now.
she's not a bad person.
she's just to naive,
& believe what other people say very easily.
she's kind hearted.
she didn't intend to leave us.
well at least not at this time.
everything is not in order.
dad is not at home for the night.
i'm scared.
i just feel sad,
when i didn't see any lunch cooked this noon.
yesterday's meal was the last,
& i didn't really really taste it.
i just feel sad,
when i look at my bed.
it's not tidied. it's in a mess.
yesterday, was the last time she would make my bed again.
i feel that i didn't appreciate her well enough.
i didn't really treat her well,
because i just feel angry when she keeps on talking to outsiders,
even though mum has told her so much about this world.
yes now she is gone for good.
i wonder where she is.
i wonder how is she now.
she's too naive & innocent.
everything is just too much for me to take.
T.T
all i can do,
is just to pray for her safety,
& also ours.
who knows what had she done behind our backs.
well,
all the best & stay alive.
jeszlynn.
i'm dead tired.
credits : tumblr
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Tuesday, March 22, 2011
in awe of You. @ 11:50 PM
it's one big day tomorrow.
the feeling i have now,
is exactly like the feeling i have a day before my SPM exam starts.
yes i feel like i'm having SPM tomorrow.
my heart is pumping so fast now as i'm typing this.
i wonder what will i feel tomorrow at this moment.
i wonder what will i feel tomorrow, after it's all over.
i reread my posts when i was about to get my PMR results.
really in the blink of an eye.
i really hope to feel the same way like 3 years ago.
but now,
i just can't stop feeling this sense of guilt.
i'm afraid that i'll really disappoint my parents.
they poured so much money for my educations,
& of course it's their right to expect highly of me.
but i'm just scared now.
i'm worry.
but i shouldn't be worry.
why worry so much,
when the Lord is already ready to lift all of my burdens ?
why think so much,
when the Lord had already prepare His shoulders for me ?
why fear,
when the Lord already had my future set ahead ?
thoughts, worries & fears should really be lost at this moment,
as my Father is watching over me.
what's done is done,
what's ready it's ready.
it's just about your heart to take it,
nicely or cruelly.
it;s tomorrow.
see me cry,
see me laugh.
nope i'm not going insane,
it's just one big lesson i've learnt ;)
thank You, Daddy.
jeszlynn.
in faith, i lay myself down.
credits : tumblr
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Saturday, March 5, 2011
Cravings; @ 11:37 PM
which i shouldn't really give in to them.
i really want so many things.
i'm saving up my money,
but i don't think i'll be willing to spend them after so hard of collecting.
yeah things like that bother me always.
using my own money is so so painful.
T.T
i have to really do my own budget already.
i should really stop spending on food.
i seriously do spend on food the most,
& that's scary.
let's say if my phone were to die,
i will have to need a new one;
which is going to cost me big bucks.
in that case,
i wouldn't be able to purchase my DSLR.
where am i suppose to get those kind of money ?
D:
sometimes,
you just have to give up what you really want,
but getting those that you really need.
this,
is really bothering me.
:(
jeszlynn.
credits : tumblr
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Movies. @ 10:34 PM
i had 2 of them today :D
went to the mall & watched The Adjustment Bureau today.
i was the only girl, fml but it didn't matter cause Zhen Wei was there :)
we were so used to hanging out with each other already haha.
Chee Yong, Al Vin, Wee Fong, Chin Teck & Chun Han were with us today.
since they are all guys,
i asked Al Vin why did he even bothered to ask me.
he just said Wee Fong will go if there're girls.
and i am the victim.
lol anyway i enjoyed lar.
thanks Al Vin ! :D
The Adjustment Bureau was alright i thought,
it isn't that interesting as i thought it would be.
well i just love Emily Blunt's hair & it's colour in the whole movie.
she's so pretty :D
super awesome.
keke
went for MYF Movie Nite,
we were late due to the traffic jam.
D=
the MYF-ers started of by watching The Social Network.
i was kinda happy because i wanted to watch it for so so long already.
anyway i think the movie lasted 30 minutes ?
inappropriate scenes started popping out
& yeah there're so many form 1 & 2 little kids there.
well then we watch Despicable Me instead.
i was happy with that choice.
i haven't got the chance to watch it since last year.
haha
the movie was awesome.
everyone loves Agnes xD
Agnes and her fluffy craze going on.
hehe
super cute Agnes !
Wallie seemed fine enough.
mum shouted at her and was so angry at her,
till she sat down and let mum remove the flea.
She is a healthy pup again ! :D
there's so many things going on in life,
i really hate to say this but why oh why !
the stupid phone isn't functioning.
grrr
i've been charging it for hours and it's battery never exceed 4%.
seriously FML.
i really don't know what to do already.
haih.
jeszlynn.
look at the brighter side of life :)
credits : tumblr
Labels: daily's, moody, movies, randoms, reviews
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Thursday, March 3, 2011
Disastrous; @ 7:54 PM
moment. that. happened. to. me. so. far. was. just. now.
omfgawd.
it was a happy morning.
yes it was really a super happy morning.
well i picked up my package at the post office,
happily viewing & exploring my beloved CD.
i was so excited.
finally here came Infinite's Evolution.
i had a nice day at work,
time really flies,
& unknowingly,
it's 6 already.
as i hopped in mum's car,
the first thing i did was inserting the CD,
& it the songs played throughout our journey,
from work, then sister's tuition, then McD's frive-thru, then home.
oh happy times.
as we reached home,
i ejected the CD,
& i was getting the cover to store the CD when i realized it wasn't there.
D:
yes it freaking wasn't there.
i searched high & low,
& then i guessed it was back inside the cd player.
well it wasn't a big deal.
so i ejected again waiting for it to come out,
and here came the disaster -.-
it just wouldn't come out, no matter how.
omg.
even after my mum took the key out from the car,
the songs of the CD kept on playing.
it was scary.
i spent almost 30 minutes trying to get the disc out,
even though i know it was an useless effort.
so now the CD is still in the car,
& hell yeah i know it is all fully scratched for sure.
i am really super sad.
i haven't even have the chance to take a good look at the CD.
:(
i really do the CD will come out by itself asap,
with it still functioning.
my heart is just aching so so much :(
seriously idk why i can't stop whining about it.
i just don't know why i really can't stop felling pain & sad.
it'll eventually come out i know,
but i really can't stop feeling so miserable.
gosh.
so near yet so far.
how to not cry.
D:
jeszlynn.
have. to. be. more. patient
credits : tumblr
Labels: ache, disaster, Infinite, moody
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Monday, February 28, 2011
today; @ 8:18 PM
is the last day of the month.
so fast we're stepping into the 3rd month of the year.
yes this year is passing freakingly fast.
i went to Gambang Waterpark yesterday.
it was really a blast,
five of us playing together.
:)
but i'm not blogging about it now,
my mood is very much dead today :(
maybe tomorrow,
or later at night, i'll share about it.
Working hours was like a living hell today.
yes it is the closing for the month,
all of them had to rush like mad.
& i got instructed & directed like a maid.
-.-
that is super annoying.
i have my own job to do,
but whenever they ask me to do something,
i just can't say no.
because i'm the temporary clerk there.
& i get frustrated whenever they ask me where is this thing,
or where is that thing.
hello ? whatever you all gave me is all there.
if it's not, although it's not my problem,
but i have to take all the blame since i am handling the papers.
damn.
i think i really need a break.
i had enjoyed days in this brand new year,
but my time is limited,
due to the fact that i'm working.
i'm dead tired.
well after work,
i really do expect some time to relax.
but the fact that mum had took 1/2 day's leave,
brought sisters to ECM after the bank just annoyed me.
it has been so long since i stepped my foot into that mall.
luckily a friend brought me & another friend there for a while that day.
but that's not the point.
when i ask her why did she brought them today,
she just simply said that she's on leave & they wanna drop by the mall.
what happen to me asking mum on Friday's night to bring me to the mall ?
she just said,
oh your sisters are having tuitions.
oh well then.
she just can't give them the same excuse she gave me.
probably saying your sister is at work to both of them will hurt them much.
so what about hurting me ?
& there she started to say i am selfish,
i very 小气,
& she don't like my attitude like that & stuffs.
it just frustrated me.
& there she started to say i've been going out with friends every weekends,
but she didn't say a word about it, etc.
of course i will hang out with my friends,
since you don't even wanna bring me.
waiting for you is like forever.
so what about going out with friends ?
& there you started to say again you intended to bring us last night
but me & sister are having class.
well i guess you had the idea of bringing us when the other sister kept on bugging on wanting to go to ECM.
this,
is just so bloody unfair.
whatever it is,
i'm done with it.
done with the drama everywhere.
i'm so through life.
and now she is talking about me again.
super blasted.
you should really reflect upon yourself before even complaining,
& judging me.
the more you thinka bout it,
the more you complain about me.
what about me ?
the more i think about it,
what can i do ?
i cry alone.
and now i am just blasting my speakers of just to cover your so irritating voice.
if you noticed,
i had been listening to your craps.
fml.
credits : tumblr
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Friday, February 25, 2011
Supa Luv. @ 11:38 PM
okay this song isn't that nice at first hearing,
but it's quite addicted,
like Like a G6.
haha
& i'm supa in luv with my life right now.
i feel satisfied :D
well i had a bunch of friends i can be with,
laugh with,
& talk with.
just finished a yum cha session with them,
& sorry if i talked or laughed too loud
=x
i'm used being like this.
hehe
say,
this is the real time to enjoy life.
despite working,
i have to spend time enjoying my life.
i know i won't be able to spend time like this with my precious friends once the result is released.
speaking of which,
i'm having bad thoughts about the results.
i'm so scared.
but,
it's well over right ?
;)
had a great car-chat with Jasmine & Jing Wen just now.
wonder when will teh 3 of us can do this again.
:)
i'm super effed up now.
the world doesn't revolve around you.
idiot.
credits : tumblr
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Thursday, February 24, 2011
Keeping tracks. @ 9:36 PM
i'm loosing my tracks of everything.
somehow i just feel so direction-less,
& i really don't know what am i doing most of the time.
i didn't make an effort to pray for a road.
i don't know why,
but i just feel so so empty in my spiritual life.
=(
& i think i made Daddy angry.
of course He won't be pleased seeing me being in such a dilemma everytime,
not making a decision,
and not trusting the decisions i had made.
it's like i don't trust His ways,
it's like i don't have any faith in Him.
basically,
i think i've been spending lesser & lesser time with Him.
excuses are useless,
because if i'm determined in doing something,
surely i'll put my best effort into it.
i believe this applies to everyone.
but i'm not determined.
yes i keep finding excuses,
to make me feel not guilty.
this shouldn't be the way.
i know something better would have happen
if i have been more determined in everything.
oh yes if i have been.
i'm so sorry Daddy.
it's time for a change,
for me;
for the world.
credits : tumblr
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